Meet your Meat:
- A judge passed new rules that require the meat industry to include specific information about the origin of their products on labels. “OMG read the label this T-bone was a Libra who enjoyed to graze and liked to do it heifer style”.
Tisk Tisk:
- US scolded North Korea over reports the nation has restarted a plutonium-producing nuclear reactor; don’t make us draw a red line.
Nuked:
- United States scolded North Korea over reports indicating the nation has restarted a plutonium-producing nuclear reactor; if they are not careful with they will all start looking like Dennis Rodman.
Work Place Violence:
- Taliban attacked US consulate in Afghanistan, the White house is not sure if this was terrorists or just people angry over Miley Cyrus video.
Sweet Ride:
- The Vatican said this week that celibacy is open to discussion Ladies who wants a ride in the pope mobile?
A billion Tweets:
- Twitter’s confidential filing means the company’s annual revenue is less than $1 billion. One more Justin Bieber hair cut tweet could have put them over the top.
Atlantic City is cursed:
- A fire engulfed much of an iconic Jersey shore boardwalk Thursday; undoing months of rebuilding efforts after the inundation of Super storm Sandy. What do they have planned for next year Locusts?
Saving face:
- Kerry launches face saving negotiations over Syria weapons destruction, Kerry who knows first hand the horrors of bad plastic surgery.
The Year 2297:
- There are calls for the Washington Redskins to change their name. The politician’s should pick a name that way they could stay the Redskins until 2297.
The Presidents Men:
- There are calls for the Washington Redskins to change their name. They should be the Washington Presidents “leading from behind”.
Happy Birthday Jackie:
- Actress Jacqueline Bisset is 69 I will celebrate by renting the movie the deep just to watch her in wet tee shirt thank you Jacqueline!
Asian Eyes:
- Julie Chen Admits to Past Plastic Surgery to Change Look less Asian. Julie Chen is Asian?
Up in Smoke:
- To give you an idea how high Justin Bieber was on Private Flight the Pilot was Tommy Chong.
Reincarnated Talent:
- Shirley MacLaine will receive Kennedy Center Honors this year. For her career in this and previous lives.
Everyone’s a critic:
- The voyager left our solar system in an attempt to avoid Adam Sandler’s next movie.
Single Men:
- The Vatican said this week that celibacy is open to discussion Ladies who wants a ride in the pope mobile?
Men in Black:
- The Vatican said this week that celibacy is open to discussion can’t wait to see these guy’s on match.com
New Nick names for lice:
- Willy Nelson beard buddies
- Duck Dynasty chin travelers
- Lady Gaga pant puppies
Schwinn from hell:
- Nicole Kidman will press charges after she was knocked over by a paparazzo that crashed into her on a bicycle. They should lock this guy to fence out side star bucks for this.
Up in Smoke:
- To give you an idea how high Justin Bieber was on flight the pilot was Tommy Chong.
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A Meat market:
- New England’s defense forced four turnovers quarterback Geno Smith got Sacked more times then Lady Gaga in the meat Dept.
Winning Ugly:
- Patriots held on for a 13-10 victory over the New York Jets. If this keeps up Patriots fans will need more heart healthy snacks.
Patriots:
- The Patriots have gone through more receivers then Lindsey Lohan during happy hour.
Boston Strong:
- Taliban bombed consulate in Afghanistan, the Taliban is Bombing US consulates like they are Dane Cook at the Boston Strong concert.
A Penny Saved:
- Gov. Deval Patrick is testifying regarding his sweeping gun control bill. The Governor would like to get guns before taxpayers hear about State budget deficit of $1.2 billion.