Sobering:
- Lindsey Lohan is paying a sober companion $2,500 a day to keep her sober. I wonder how much we could pay a companion to slap the donuts out of Michael Moores mouth.
Iphone 5:
- The new Iphone uses fingerprints to ID owner. Critics fear this will cause people to get fingers chopped off. How do we get Anthony Weiner Iphone 5.
Happy Birthday George:
- Actor George Hamilton is 74 if your looking for a gift I think he already has a tanning bed.
A few good men:
- Million Muslim March in Washington yesterday falls 999765 short.
Happy Birthday Sir Mix a lot:
- Rapper Sir Mix-A-Lot is 50. What do you get for the man whose babies got back?
Vow of Silence:
- Tibetan Monk breaks 60-year vow of silence to say, “Miley Cyrus sucks”.
Organ Donations:
- Wife refuses organ donation news at 11.
Popes new ride:
- Pope Francis now has his own mini pope mobile he plans drive to small miracles.
PTA gone bad :
- Breaking Bad will come to and end but there will be a spin off. A Math teacher becomes and embezzler and a History teacher becomes a politician.
Vougue:
- Vogue pulled Mile Cyrus’ upcoming Vogue cover, twerked again!
Jersey Shore:
- Siberian ‘forest boy’ found after 16 years in wilderness no education no social skills sounds like cast of Jersey shore.
News To Me
Royal Duties:
- Prince William to leave the military, become full-time royal what does this mean no more going commando?
Lets eat home:
- Scientists say hand soap in 25 percent of public restrooms may be more contaminated with fecal matter than toilet water.
Asteroids Hemorrhoids:
- NASA identifies three asteroids for potential capture. Have they been trying to get away?